Fairy Tales enjoyed by Grandchildren

Dear Babyboomers



What to read to your Grandchildren?
As a teacher, parent and now a grandparent I am aware of the fascination Fairy Tales hold for children. 


I can't count the number of times I have been asked to repeatedly read Cinderella to one child (male). It was a long and rather tedious version and of course any verbal editing was instantly picked up.  (However, recently when I kindly offered to read it to him, his reply was,  "I'm over Cinderella." Oh well.)


I agree with the philosophy of this extract re 'The Importance of Fairy Tales in a Child's Life' summed up as "Reading fairy tales contributes toward healthy and confident attitudes about the challenges and terrors of this life."

Clara



Extract from 'Wisdom from Bruno Bettelheim's The Uses of Enchantment'
Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist, wrote,  "Wisdom does not burst forth fully developed like Athena out of Zeus's head; it is built up, small step by small step, from most irrational beginnings. Only in adulthood can an intelligent understanding of the meaning of one's existence in this world be gained from one's experiences in it. Unfortunately, too many parents want their children's minds to function as their own do-as if mature understanding of ourselves and the world, and our ideas about the meaning of life, did not have to develop as slowly as our bodies and minds. Today, as in times past, the most important and also the most difficult task in raising a child is helping him to find meaning in life."


The German poet Schiller wrote: "Deeper meaning resides in the fairy tales told to me in my childhood than in the truth that is taught by life." How can this be? Bettelheim says, "These tales start where the child really is in his psychological and emotional being. They speak about his severe inner pressures in a way that the child unconsciously understands and . . . offers examples of both temporary and permanent solutions to pressing difficulties."
The fairy tale, according to Bettelheim, confronts the child squarely with the most scary subjects in life: death, aging, loss of a parent, being trapped or lost, and other stresses. The fairy tale simplifies all situations, allowing the child to come to grips with the problem in its most essential form. The figures are clearly drawn and the details, unless very important, are eliminated. All characters are typical rather than unique. Evil is as common as any virtue and both are usually embodied in the form of a figure or their actions.


http://www.cslakin.com -
Susan Lakin writes, "I spent many delicious hours as a child reading fairy tales. Even today, many of the stories I devoured ring clear in my head, although I have not read them in perhaps forty years. Stories of dancing princesses escaping to an underground world of music and balls, the finding of a magic ring baked in a cake, the agony of a sister trying to free her brothers from a spell that has changed them into swans-these elements of fairy tales sank deep into my heart and imagination and continue with me today. Why is this?


As I pondered this question, I had a chance meeting with a woman who had run a Christian bookstore for years. She told me of the many parents who would come into the store looking for suitable reading material for their children. When offered fairy tales, they would shy away, fearing the dark and disturbing images that had the potential to frighten and traumatize their young ones. Their argument would go like this: "Fairy tales are scary and present the world dishonestly. They would make my child confused as to what is real and what is fabricated. They are full of ogres and witches and giants, so why should I allow my child to be terrified by things that aren't even real?".......


Parents longing to protect their children from evil, scary things in the world do well to remember that this is the world to which we are preparing them to face. By hiding that world from their awareness, by trying to postpone or color the harsh realities of life, we are doing them a great disservice.  Parents may argue that a young child does not need to learn about these things, and it is true-there is a time and season for all things, and some are best to cover when a child may be more mature to understand and emotionally deal with some of these things.
So, do not discount fairy tales as a bad influence on your children. Rather, be selective, and choose age-appropriate stories to give to them. But do not be afraid of unleashing their imagination and letting them confront their darkest fears. By giving them heroes to identify with, you are letting those fears surface in a subtle manner, and allowing your child to find his courage and make moral choices vicariously-choices that will build his character and have influence on the rest of his life.





To view or add comment, click on comments at bottom of page or send an email - clara@babyboomerconnections.com.au or visit my website at www.babyboomerconnections.com.au

Grandchildren adore Mirrors and wicked stepmothers .....

Dear Babyboomers
After reading one of the rather 'grim' fairy tales by the Grimm Brothers, 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' to the little people in my life, I wonder at the violent nature of some of these stories. However most children love them!   I can't count the number of times I have been asked to repeatedly read Cinderella to one child (male).  It was a long and rather tedious version and of course any verbal editing was instantly picked up.

This story was first collected by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, and was translated into English in the 1820s. Its present status as one of the best loved of the stories collected by the Grimm brothers seems to derive from the fact that in 1937, Walt Disney turned it into an animated film. In the film the seven dwarfs have been given names, and personalities to match those names: Happy, Sleepy, Doc, Bashful, Sneezy, Grumpy, and Dopey. The film remains hugely popular even today.

The first volumes were much criticized because, although they were called "Children's Tales", they were not regarded as suitable for children, both for the scholarly information included and the subject matter. Hence the many changes through the editions – such as turning the wicked mother of the first edition in Snow White and Hansel and Gretel to a stepmother, were probably made with an eye to such suitability. They removed sexual references, such as Rapunzel's innocently asking why her dress was getting tight around her belly, and thus naively revealing her pregnancy and the prince's visits to her step mother, but, in many respects, violence, particularly when punishing villains, was increased.[

Yes, there was an inevitable Prince Charming, but he was relatively unimportant since all he did was look at Snow White as she lay under glass, thought she was beautiful and kissed her - which brought her out of her coma but the main characters in this story are far more sinister........ 'Wicked Stepmothers and MIRRORS!! And much much more - perhaps the forerunner to Anorexia, Narcissism, Obsession with Appearance, Shallow Hal etc

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?. " is not a good question to ask in the first place. Fraught with difficulty, before you even get an answer, even if you are a relatively self-accepting babyboomer and not a wicked stepmother. 

And of course, many of us have been stepmothers - more likely as a result of a blended (some say scrambled) families.   As far as stepmothers are concerned, one theory is that folktales use the figure of the stepmother in order to say things about rivalries and mother/daughter relationships and relationships between older and younger women which are unacceptable when said about actual mothers, (who are often killed off early in the story so they can be left on a pedestal.)

The simple social reality of the time,  however could be that because so many women died in childbirth, stepmothers were a common fact of life, who might have been keen to safeguard their birthchildren's access to limited resources, such as available Princes, as in Cinderella. 

Bruno Bettelheim, a child psychologist, famous for his research on autism, recommends in his book, 'The Uses of Enchantment',  that "children be immersed in the world of fantasy and fairy tales throughout their childhood since reading fairy tales  contributes toward their healthy and confident attitudes about the challenges and terrors of this life."

To view or add comment, click on comments at bottom of page or send an email - clara@babyboomerconnections.com.au

 or visit my website at http://www.babyboomerconnections.com.au/